The Bitter One
Napoleon was only the second-born. Joseph, who was a year older than him, was made King of Naples and Sicily by his generous and attractive brother after Joe was being a jealous bitch about his little brother being emperor. It does get a little annoying when your younger brother is better than you at everything, and Napoleon totally was because Joe failed at ruling in Italy and eventually lost his throne. He then spent most of his life in the US, where, according to Wikipedia, he encountered the Jersey Devil. What even.
Well, he didn’t fail SO hard. They named a gulf in Australia after him. Still more than most people can say.