Many myths about Napoleon’s life have been perpetuated throughout history. The most enduring ones seem to be about his height. In fact, a video we watched in AP European History stated that Napoleon was 5’2”. If you don’t have measuring tape near you, just go ahead and assume that he was shorter than you are. That’s…pretty short, guys.
But according to the far more reliable Wikipedia, he was actually 5’7”, as I mentioned in the introductory post. That was “average height for the period.”
That may still seem short to many of you 6’ scoffasauruses. But many talented, attractive and downright badass men, even today, have been 5’7” or shorter.
- Elijah Wood (fantastic actor, great voice, cute in glasses)
- Tom Cruise (attractive, insane)
- Jon Stewart (hilarious, Jewish)
- Billy Joel (talented, universally appealing)
- Dustin Hoffman (vintage hot, crossdressed for a great movie)
- Elton John (nothing needs to be said)
- Seth Green. SETH GREEN. SETH MOTHERFUCKING GREEN.
In conclusion: if you make fun of Napoleon’s height, you’re also dissing these fine gentlemen.
Addendum: Seth Green’s attractiveness can hardly be contained in this post.