February 2011
12 posts
The Bonapartes: Elisa
Elisa: The Smart Girl
I guess all the Bonapartes were attractive.
Elisa’s full name/title was Maria Anna Elisa Bonaparte Baciocchi Levoy, Princesse Française, Duchess of Lucca and Princess of Piombino, Grand Duchess of Tuscany, Countess of Compignano. Which right away hints at what a badass she was.
The eldest of the Bonaparte girls, Elisa was intelligent and witty, and politically competent. She was the only sister Nappy trusted with any real power, and he gave her the territory of Lucca, which she administered mainly by herself, holding more power than her husband. She loved the arts and encouraged artistic ventures in all the territories she ruled over. She also encouraged education reform (made those damn kids go to school) and public works programs (get some public parks all up in this bitch).
In 1809 she became Grand Duchess of Tuscany, because she was one awesome bitch. However, her relations with her Emperor bro became strained as he called her out for not doing exactly what he told her to.
In 1813 the Neapolitans marched on her territories, and she lost her titles in both Tuscany and Lucca. She was eventually exiled, and died before Napoleon in 1820.
Napoleon and Josephine ended up divorcing not because of the affairs Napoleon was having but because she was unable to produce an heir to the throne. Despite the divorce, and despite the fact that he told a friend that he truly loved her but didn’t respect her, Napoleon’s last words were, “France, armée, tête d’armée, Joséphine.”(“France, army, head of the army, Joséphine.”)
<3
Friggin Josephine.
Play
The Bonapartes: Lucien
Lucien: The Attractive Revolutionary
Homina. I can tell he’s related to Nappy.
Lucien was a revolutionary dude. He was often at odds with his brother about his imperial ideas. When Napoleon became emperor, Lucien pointed a sword at him and said something to the extent of, “If you don’t uphold the principles you claim to stand for (liberté, égalité, fraternité), I’ll cut you.”
He had balls.
Also, he married a commoner. Nappy wasn’t a fan of his marriage, and wanted them to divorce. Lucien said “Nuts to you” and had four kids with the girl.
Lucien was under the protection of Pope Pius VII, who made him prince of Canino. When Nappy undermined the pope’s power, Lucien fled to the US and was intercepted by Brits. Napoleon believed that Luc was actually against him and went to the UK on purpose, and wrote him out of the Bonapartes’ listing in the imperial almanac. Sad.
But he and his brother reconciled eventually, and Napoleon made Luc a prince. D’awww, happy ending.
Lucien died in exile, like his brother.
The Bonapartes: Joseph
The Bitter One
Fabulous.
Napoleon was only the second-born. Joseph, who was a year older than him, was made King of Naples and Sicily by his generous and attractive brother after Joe was being a jealous bitch about his little brother being emperor. It does get a little annoying when your younger brother is better than you at everything, and Napoleon totally was because Joe failed at ruling in Italy and eventually lost his throne. He then spent most of his life in the US, where, according to Wikipedia, he encountered the Jersey Devil. What even.
Well, he didn’t fail SO hard. They named a gulf in Australia after him. Still more than most people can say.
(Sauce)
20 followers! Let’s celebrate with some young!Napoleon pictures!
Hi I was just stalking you and I needed these here.
Thanks, dude. Hope you don’t mind. Congrats on the followers.
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
—Napoleon, summing up a big part of my interaction with people I don’t like.
